3 posts tagged “bilateral mastectomy”

Twoyellowroses

I am getting a bit of a late start on my blog today - but I guess it's better late than never. I had such a hard time going to sleep last night, but a couple of little pills put an end to that.

Today is my 1 year anniversary of the bilateral mastectomy. Hard to believe that a year has passed and last Christmas was spent preparing for the surgery. I spent 4 days in the hospital (I have to love my surgeon - no drive by surgery for him), and have since recovered nicely. I had fuzz on my head and had only been 2 months out of chemo...still looking forward to radiation. The time has gone by fast...but then it seems that it has gone by fast for a few years now.

We had a nice quiet Christmas. The weather was not inviting enough to venture out to eat...so Marie Callender made our meal. We will celebrate this weekend with a good meal out.

This is a photo taken of me five days after my double mastectomy.  I am a little thinner in the belly now - it became obvious when the boobs went.  LOL  There is nothing stranger than looking down for the first time, and seeing nothing but a beach ball (a HUGE beachball), and realize that it's your gut hanging out.  Told my dad that I am looking more like the men in the family now - they all have their chests sink to their stomachs as they age.  You can see that I was getting my hair back - my last chemo was in Nov and the hair started growing back before chemo was finished.  Thank you Red Devil (Adriamicin) - I have brand new hair, brand new nails and chemo brain. 

How does it feel to go from DD to nothing?  Wonderful!  No - I am not saying that this is a choice I would have made had cancer not come into my life...but since it did, I will find all the good things about my life now.  Not having boobs has freed me!  I can walk without anything slapping my knees.  That took a little getting used to - I could really get a rhythm going!  Oh yes - now when I drop food, the stomach catches it instead of the boobs!  One down side is, that I no longer have a 'shelf' to hold my plate when I'm not eating at a table.  Hmmmm...

OH yeah!!!!  One of the REALLY good upsides of being boobless is, I am no longer rudely awakened by my husband's elbow on a boob when he switches position in bed.  hehehe  There is nothing like it. 

I also noticed that most people really don't look at other people.  Even my neighbor who I have lunch with once a week said that she doesn't even notice unless something is said.  It was the same way when I didn't have eyebrows.  I am not a makeup person, but once in a while I like to surprise my husband.  I got up one morning - no eybrows, no eyelashes, no hair ... I did put my teeth in though... and decided to put some makeup on.  We were going to go out to the casino, so I had my red sequined ball cap all ready to wear.  Got all made up - and out we went.  (Yes - he was very surprised!  Said if it wasn't for the bald head, he wouldn't have recognized me.)  I'm prancing through the casino, played a few slots, hit the buffet, and headed home.  For some unknown reason, I took my hat off and looked in the mirror - my eyebrows were purple!  Not a dark purple - but more of a lilac purple.  I swear it was brown when I put it on!

But I was on the subject of being boobless.  For the first time since 4th grade, I am able to go braless.  I have not even shopped for prosthesis (or is it prosthesi?).  Just enjoying throwing a shirt over my head when I get ready to go out.  Also, when it's really warm in the house, I have no problem going topless!  If someone were to come to the door, what are they going to see?  Not boobs!

Believe me - the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction was not an easy choice.  I gave consideration that at 51 I could have 20 year old boobs!  That was a temptation.  But then, I stopped and thought about a few things.  At that time, I didn't know the cancer had spread.  So, I didn't want anything to stand in the way of discovering a recurring cancer in the remaining breast tissue.  To reconstruct would mean more surgery - and I would be lucky if it was just one surgery...or several surgeries without complications.  I figure my body doesn't like much of anything that didn't come with it, so if I were to put foreign objects like implants in it, I would wind up with some life threatening infection and have to have all the surgery undone.  And then, if I were to have a successful reconstruction, they would be numb - no feeling.  So, here I am...boobless on Fidalgo Island and loving it (or at least making the best of it).

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2 comments

It’s not often that a person gets to have their philosophies of life tested.  A diagnosis of cancer will test every belief that you have ever had.  April 12, 2007, I received my diagnosis – Locally Advanced Breast Cancer Stage IIIC with 19 out of 21 nodes positive for metastatic adenode carcinoma and abundant vascular invasion.  I was put on an aggressive chemotherapy treatment plan which consisted of 15 weekly infusions of Adriamycin (the Red Devil), 15 weeks of daily Cytoxin pills, and 15 weeks of 2 shots (which I had to give myself) of Neupogen daily; this was followed by 11 weeks (was supposed to be 12 weeks, but heart damage ended it) of Paclitaxel (Taxol).  After 4 weeks to recuperate from chemo, I had a bilateral mastectomy the day after Christmas.  Again, 4 weeks for the surgery to heal, I had 33 radiation treatments.  I surprised myself – I always wondered what I would do if I were told I had cancer or something else serious.  I could picture screaming, crying, wailing, denying…instead, there was, and always has been, an acceptance and a determination.  I am not dying of cancer, I am living in spite of it.

In less than a year, I had a lumpectomy with node removal, a reincission, 26 weeks of chemo, a surgery for an anal abcess, and a bilateral mastectomy, followed by the 33 weeks of rads.  When it came time for my PET Scan a year after the first one, I figured that one would be clean – after all, that’s why you do chemo…after hibernating a year and suffering the side effects, I figured NOTHING could have lived through that treatment.  I was wrong.  The scan showed the cancer had taken up residence in the bone; specifically in the spine.  Another 10 radiation treatments to the T11 vertebrae, Aromasin (my cancer is hormone positive, thank goodness), and an infusion of Zometa was prescribed by my chemo oncologist.  Chemo is in the future as soon as my heart has recuperated enough to tolerate it.  Fortunately, the side effects of these have been minimal and for the most part, I am able to get out and enjoy life.  Since the cancer went to the bone, I have been restaged as Stage IV – terminal cancer.  With the treatments they have now, it is possible that I can live for another 20 years, more likely that I will die from something else besides cancer.

I am writing this just because I want people to know that a diagnosis of cancer is not necessarily a death sentence anymore…but it will make you appreciate each day.  You don’t worry about tomorrow or yesterday.  In fact, it took a lot of worry off of me and I am proud to say, it has not changed my philosophy of life, but has only strengthened it.  God picked me up as soon as I had the diagnosis, and he has carried me this far, and will continue to carry me until I can stand on my own two feet or join Him.